Advertising is full of bullshit

This is called “Advertising Lullaby”, keeping in mind of course that the whole purpose of advertising is to lull you to sleep.

—–

Quality, value, style, service selection, convenience, economy savings, performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money-back guarantee,

Free installation.

Free admission, free appraisal, free alternation, free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, & free parking.

No cash, no problem. No kidding!

No musk, no risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, no entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, no one will call on you, no payments & interests until June.

But…

Limited time only! Also, act now, send no money, order while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, allow six weeks for delivery, some times are not available, some are assembly-required, some restrictions may apply.

Come on in!

Come on in for a free demonstration & a free consultation with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced & knowledgeable sales representative will help you make selection that’s just right for you & just right for your budget and say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift!

A classic, deluxe, custom designer luxury, prestige, high quality, premium select, gourmet, pocket PENCIL SHARPENER. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying “Thank you!”, & if you act now we’ll include an extra-added, free, complimentary bonus gift! A classic, deluxe, custom designer luxury, prestige, high quality, premium select, gourmet KEY RING, MAGNIFYING GLASS &  GARDEN HOSE & a genuine, imitation leather style CARRYING CASE with  authentic vinyl trim.

Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying “Thank you!”.

—–

Actually it’s our way of saying “Bend over just a little bit farther so we can stick this big advertising dick up your ass a little bit deeper, you miserable, no-good, consuming asshole!”

This… THIS is bullshit.

Ain’t it a bitch? 🙂

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