I love drinking …
…And I hate people who don’t drink. I’ve never met an interesting person in my life who doesn’t drink. If you don’t drink you’re a boring cunt & all your stories suck.
No one gives a shit if you have been promoted at work & no one gives a fuck if you are as pristine as fuck.
Have you ever asked a non-drinker why they don’t drink? Same answer everytime. You’ll go “Why don’t you drink?” and they go “I don’t like the taste of it.”
No one likes the taste of it! We drink because we have to! No one has ever had a shot of tequila and said “Oh that’s lovely! Next time I’ll have that instead of coffee!”. We drink because life is shit & you gotta do whatever you can to get through the fuckin’ day.
I’ve decided that I’m going to punch people in the head if they say this exact sentence & I encourage you to do the same because they think they’re better than you. Anyone who says this sentence,
“I don’t need to drink or smoke to have a good time. I’m higher life.”
Or any sentence that’s close to this shit, punch the motherfucker in the head until your hand breaks.