The meaning of Life. No, not really.

Trying to find a place for your stuff.

That’s the whole meaning of life, isn’t it? Trying to find a place for your stuff. That’s all your house is. Your house is just a place for stuff! If you didn’t have so much stuff you wouldn’t need a house! You will be just walking around all the time.

That’s all your house is. It’s a pile of stuff with a cover on it.

You see that when you take off on an airplane. You look down & you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff. Everybody’s got their own pile of stuff & when you leave your stuff you got to luck it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by & take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They don’t bother with that crap you’re saving. Nobody’s interested in your elementary Math test papers with perfect scores. They’re looking for the GOOD stuff.

Lemme add something about your house. It’s a place to keep your stuff while you go & GET MORE STUFF.

Now sometimes you have got to move. You got to get a bigger house. Why? TOO MUCH STUFF! You gotta move all your stuff & maybe put some of your stuff in storage. Imagine that. There’s a whole industry about keeping an eye on all your stuff.

Enough of your stuff. Let’s talk about other people’s stuff.

Did you notice when you go to somebody else’s house you never quite feel a hundred percent at home? You know why? NO ROOM FOR YOUR STUFF! Somebody else’s stuff is all over the place & what awful stuff it is! Where did they get this stuff?

If you have to stay at someone else’s house unexpectedly & they give you an extra room for you to sleep in that they don’t use that often… “Someone died in it eleven years ago” and they haven’t moved any of his stuff! Or wherever they give for you to sleep usually right near the bed there’s a dresser and never any room in the dresser for your stuff! Someone else’s shit is on the dresser!

Have you noticed that their stuff is shit & your shit is stuff?

Sometimes when you go on a vacation you got to bring some of your stuff with you. You can’t bring all your stuff, just the stuff you really like. The stuff that fits you well… that month. Let’s say you’re going to a certain tropical area with a beautiful beach. You got to take two big bags of stuff, plus you carry-on stuff, plus the stuff in your pockets.

When you get there & you get in your hotel room you start putting to put away your stuff, that’s the first you do in a hotel room. Put away your stuff. “I’ll put some stuff in here, put some stuff in there, I’ll put some stuff up here, I’ll put some stuff down there, I’ll put some stuff over there. You put your stuff over there, I’ll put my stuff over here. Hey we got more places than we got stuff! We’re gonna have to buy more stuff!”

Here’s the quandary:

Now that you’ve put all your stuff away & you know that you’re hundreds of miles from home & you don’t quite feel at ease, but you know that you must be okay because you do have some of your stuff with you… And you relax at the beach on that basis.

That’s when your friend who lives nearby calls. “Hey! Why don’t come over here for the weekend? Spend a couple of nights over here!”

O shit no! Now what stuff do you bring? Right, you got to bring an even smaller version of your stuff. Just enough stuff for a weekend.You’re really spread out now. You’ve got shit all over the world! You got stuff at home, stuff at storage, stuff in your pockets, stuff in here, stuff in there. Supply lines are getting longer & harder to maintain.

You arrive at your friend’s house & they give you a little place to sleep & there’s a little window ledge or some kinda small shelf & it has little room on it but it’s okay because you have little stuff now. You put what stuff you have up there & you relax at that island on that basis.

THEN your friend says “Hey I think tonight we’ll go to the other side of the island & stay at my friend’s house overnight.”

O SHIT NO! Now what do you bring? Now you just bring the things you know you’re going to need: Money, keys, comb, wallet, lighter, handkerchief, pen, cigarettes, contraceptives, lotion, whips, chains, whistles, dildos, and A BOOK!


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