Euphemism

SOFT LANGUAGE!!!

What the fuck’s with these euphemisms? It takes the life out of life! It is a function of time which means it keeps getting worse.

When & why did toilet paper became bathroom tissue? I wasn’t notified of this & no one asked me if I’m agreeing with it. It just happened. Toilet paper became “bathroom tissue”.

Sneakers became running shoes.

False teeth became dental appliances.

Medicine became medication.

Information became directory assistance.

The dump became the landfill.

Car crashes became automobile accidents.

Partly cloudy became partly sunny (Wait, what?).

Motels became motor lodges.

Used cars became previously owned transportation.

Room service became guest room dining.

Constipation became occasional irregularity.

Back in the day if I got sick they want me to go to a hospital & see a doctor. Now they want me to go to a health maintenance organization or a wellness center to consult a healthcare delivery professional.

Poor people used to live in the slums. Now the economically disadvantaged occupy substandard housing in the inner cities and they’re broke! They don’t have a negative cash flow position, THEY’RE FUCKING BROKE! They’re broke because a lot of them were fired. You know what’s fired. Management wanted to cut redundancies in the human resources area so many people are no longer viable members of the workforce.

Smug, greedy, well-fed people have invented a language to conceal these shit. Simple as that.

In the US the CIA don’t kill anybody anymore, they neutralize people or they depopulated the area. The Pentagon actually measures nuclear radiation in the form of sunshine units. Israeli murderers are called commandos and Arab commandos are called terrorists. Contra killers are called freedom fighters. If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire what do freedom fighters fight? THEY NEVER MENTION THAT PART TO US DO THEY?

Here in our country the government doesn’t lie, it “engages in disinformation”.

Some stuffs are even more silly. Like when you’re in the airlines & they say they want a pre-board. What the fuck is a pre-board? To get on before you get on? They say the want to pre-board those who are in need of special assistance. CRIPPLES! 

Simple, honest direct language! There’s no shame attached to the word “crippled” that I can find in any dictionary! In fact it’s a word used in Bible translations. “Jesus heals the crippled”. Doesn’t take seven words to describe that condition!

But we don’t have any cripples in the world anymore. We have the physically challenged. Is that grotesque enough of an evasion for you? The disabled are now the differently abled. WHAT THE FUCK? You can’t call these people “handicapped” anymore. They’ll say “We’re not handicapped, we’re handy capable!”

These people have been bullshitted into believing that if you change the name of the conditions you’ll somehow change the condition!

We have no more deaf people anymore. We have the hearing impaired. No one is blind anymore. We have the partially sighted or the visually impaired. We no longer have stupid people. Everybody has a learning disorder or he/she’s minimally exceptional.

Psychologists now have call ugly people those with severe appearance deficits. It’s getting so bad that any day now I expect a rape victim referred to as an unwilling sperm recipient.

We no longer have old people anymore! We shipped them all away & we brought these

Senior Citizens.

But “senior citizens” is okay with me. It’s here to stay. That’s what they’re going to be called so I’ll have to relax on that but the one I do resist, the one I keep resisting is when they look at an old guy and say “Look at him. He’s ninety years YOUNG.”

Imagine the fear of aging that reveals! To not even be able to use the word “old” to describe someone. They have to use an antonym! Fear of aging is natural. It’s universal, isn’t it? We all have that. No one wants to get old & no one wants to die but it’s inevitable. SO WE BULLSHIT OURSELVES.

Thanks to our fear of death we don’t have to die. We’ll PASS AWAY. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call it a terminal episode. The insurance companies will refer to it as negative patient care outcome & it’s if the result of malpractice they’ll say it was a therapeutic misadventure.

The terms today. Bloodless. Lifeless. No pulse in one of them. It makes me want to vomit. Well, not vomit. It makes me want to engage in an involuntary personal protein spill.

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