Swearing on The Bible

You understand that shit? They tell you to raise your right hand & place your left hand on The Bible. Does this stuff really matter? Does God really give a fuck about details like this?

Suppose you raise your left hand & you place your right hand on The Bible, would that count? Or would God say “Sorry! Wrong hand! Try again.”? Why does one hand have to be raised? What is the magic in this gesture?

This seems to be some kind of primitive, voodoo, mojo shit. Why not your left hand on The Bible & your right hand hanging by your side? It’s more natural, or put it in your pocket! I remember my mom saying “Don’t put your hand in your pocket!” when I was a child. Does she know something I don’t know?

Is this hand shit really important?

Let’s get back to The Bible, our country’s favorite, national, theatrical prop.

Suppose that The Bible they gave you was upside-down, or backward, or both and you swore an oath to tell the truth on an upside-down Bible. Would that count? Suppose that The Bible that they gave you was an old Bible and half the pages are missing. Suppose all they have was a Chinese Bible in a Philippine Court, or a Braille Bible & you’re not blind.

Suppose they gave an upside-down, backward, Chinese, Braille, Bible with half the pages missing?

At what point does all of this stuff just break down & become just a lot of stupid shit that somebody made up? They fucking made it up! THEATRICS! It’s make-believe!


What is the big deal about swearing to God in the first place? Why does swearing to God mean you’re going to tell the truth? Wouldn’t affect me. If they said to me “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?” I’d say,

“Yeah! I’ll tell you as much truth as the people who wrote that fucking Bible! You like that?”

Swearing on The Bible & Swearing to God doesn’t mean anything. It’s kid’s stuff. When I was a kid & I’m chit-chatting with my friends they ask me “You swear to God?”, I’m like “Yeah! Yeah I swear to God!” even if I was lieing. Why not? What’s going to happen if I lie? Nothing! Nothing happens if you lie, unless you get caught and that’s a different story.

Bible or no Bible, God or no God, if it suits their purposes people are going to lie in court. The police & the politicians do it all the time. Swearing to The Bible & God is just another way of controlling people & keeping them in line & it’s one more thing that holds us back as a species.


5 thoughts on “Swearing on The Bible

  1. again haha…

    you are the only one in a long time that has the balls to curse and use the word fuck and shit in the same context with God…

    brave heart……

  2. Pingback: The Bible. A book chock full of rumors. | Inclined with Insanity

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