The Prayer

From Wikipedia:

Prayer is an invocation or act that seeks to activate a rapport with a deity or object of worship through deliberate communication.


From Google:

A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship.


From Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary:

To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Or simply

A request that the laws of nature be suspended in favor of the petitioner, himself admittedly unworthy.


A personal query of mine: Which is more probable? The Laws of Nature be suspended or I am under misapprehension?


I often thought people treat God rudely, don’t you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers everyday. People asking and pleading and begging for favors. “Do this”, “Gimme that” and most of these praying takes place on a Sunday. His day-off. Not nice and it’s not a good way to treat a friend.

People do pray and they pray for a lot of different things. For example, your sister needs to have an operation in her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall but most of all you’d really like to fuck that hot chick who’s working at the convenience store. Can you pray for that? I think you have to.

Fine. Pray for anything you want BUT what about the Divine Plan? Remember that? Long time ago God made a Divine Plan. He gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. For billions and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine.

Now YOU come along and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn’t in God’s plan? What do you want him to do? Change his plan? Just for you? That’s arrogant on your part, isn’t it?

It’s a Divine Plan! What’s the use of being God if every run-off-the-mill schmuck with a hundred Peso prayer can come along and fuck up your plan?

Here’s something else, another problem you might have:

Suppose your prayers aren’t answered? “Well, it’s God’s will. Thy will be done”. Fine, but if it’s God’s will and he’s going to do what he wants to do anyway


Seems like a big waste of time to me. Couldn’t you just skip the praying part and go right to his will? It’s all very confusing.

So fuck it.


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