Do you realize that right this second, right now somewhere around the world some guy or gal is getting ready to kill himself?

Ain’t that great?

Do you ever think about that shit? It’s true. Right now some guy is getting ready to bite the big one because statistics show that every year a million people commit suicide. That’s more or less 2,740 a day and that’s a lot. Before I finish this sentence two or three people have probably ended their lives.

There goes another guy!

I said guy because men are four times more likely to commit suicide, even though women attempted more. So men are better at it! That’s something else you girls might want to be working on. If you want to be truly equal you got to start taking your own lives in greater numbers.

I just think that it’s interesting to know that any moment the odds are good that some guy is cutting his own throat or wrist. That’s probably the most interesting that you can do with your life, which is

To end it.

I don’t think I could do that. Could you? I don’t wonder why they do it or what were they thinking. I wonder where do they find the time to do it. Who’s got time to commit suicide? Don’t you have things to do? Suicide would be way down on my list. It’s probably lower than lighting my own house on fire. I might want to try a little self-mutilation first, take a couple of chunks off my arm and see if I like the general idea.

Gotta have priorities. You’ve got to have a plan too. People don’t just jump off a building. You got to decide for this stuff. Timing is important. You got to pick a method! How you’re going to do it. Plus you got to write a note. Hey, you got to be expressive.

I don’t think I can commit suicide if my life depended on it. LOL.


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