Bill Gates’ Net Worth as of 2012 is $61.0 Billion. Now here’s one of those guys who could lose $56.0 Billion or so and still have $5.0 Billion. If I have $61.0 Billion I could lose it really fast because I would do stupid shit with it all the time. You know what you can do with $61.0 Billion?
I could buy the whole NBA and make all the players wear dresses. How much is that? Let’s say it’s worth $3.0 Billion, and I still have $58.0 fucking Billion. How can you not do that?! I would do shit like that everyday! I might even buy every single pair of pants in the world and just fucking burn them! Fuck everyone else. Start over by making a pair of pants if you want to wear them.
I think all the time about the shit that I could if I have $61.0 Billion. You could pull shit that would last years. I was thinking about how I will put a chain of pet food stores all over the country and it will be called Shit Ass Pet Fuckers, that will be the name of it. It’ll be just as huge as Wal-Mart and there will a big Yellow sign of Shit Ass Pet Fuckers on top of it. The people working in there will be rude and they’ll say things “Get the fuck out of here, you idiot!”. They won’t even let you come in. If you get past that, a dog food will cost you a million dollars for one can. That’s the price! Fuck you! You don’t like it? Fuckin’ screw. It’s Shit Ass Pet Fuckers! Also, if you come in with your pet, the employees there will fuck your pet. You don’t even have to bring it. They’ll find it and fuck it.
That’s the way it’s going to be. Nobody will ever spend his or her money on Shit Ass Pet Fuckers, but I will keep it open for years and decades. It’ll be kept open. I’ll open a new one, next to another one. I’ll surround ever Starbucks with five Shit Ass Pet Fuckers that are all facing each other.
I’ll do that just to enjoy the moments when people say “What the fuck?! Why isn’t it closing?! That place sucks man! That is the worst pet store! I’m not paying a million dollars for a dog food! Clearly overpriced! They fuck your pets, that’s not appropriate! Come on! They’ve been open for fifty years now! Damn those Shit Ass Pet Fuckers people!”.
Don’t you just love those reactions? 🙂