Talk about farts!

Do you ever have to fart on a bus or an airplane or in some public place? BUT you haven’t been farting all that day so you didn’t really know the nature of the beast.

You only knew there was lots of it.

In a situation like that, what you have to do is to release a test fart. You have to release it in a quiet and carefully controlled manner. Just about ten to fifteen percent of the total fart, in order to determine if those around you can handle it or, if in fact, you may be about to precipitate a public health emergency.

When releasing a test fart, it is often good to engage in an act of subterfuge, e.g. reaching for a magazine. If it does not smell too horrifying, I think the others might ought to enjoy the rest of that baby.

It turns out to be one of those farts that would strip the varnish off a foot locker.

A fart that could end a marriage.

Everyone around you heads for the exits, even the people on the airplane. As you realize, it is time to review your fiber intake. It might not necessary, after all, each morning to eat an entire Wicker swing set.

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