What do people want to watch on the TV news programs?

What is it that you are so afraid of anyway?

It’s no secret to everybody that the news is just a constant battering ram of fear mongering. If you want to be terrified, here’s a never-ending coverage that could make your scared shit list:

“Juvenile heart attacks! Could it be your child?”

“Is someone masturbating in your sandwich at the local diner?” You might not think so, but their horror movie graphic will change your mind!

“Can you get pig flu from pork chops?”

“Where’s your teen right now? Probably getting the shit kicked right out of ’em!”

People tend to blame the news as though it is their fault for spreading all these fear. As though there is no market for it. You can’t blame the news for making you afraid anymore than you blame horror movies or haunted houses. That’s what people are buying into. The reason why people are buying fear so easily and stockpiling it is you would much rather believe all that bullshit rather than

“Immigrants are trying to take your jobs!” or

“Pedophiles are trying to fuck your kids!” or

“Terrorists are coming to blow up your Ford Focus, in particular!”.

That’s far more palatable for people to buy than to accept the reality which is probably (A high statistical, Las Vegas odds probability) nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life. You’re not going to win the lottery, you’re not going to get caught in a shoot-out between gangs, you’re not going to get date raped. Nothing. You’ll fall in love, they’ll break your heart, later on in life you will settle for less, you can make a family and make rotten kids, get some awful job, you give up your dreams and sit in a cubicle. Maybe in your fifties you’ll find some lump on the back of your neck that is so big, the surgeons have to cut it out, your daughter flies home from college to be there by your side but then they find out that it’s benign, an out-patient procedure, and you can still bring up every Christmas dinner like it was some near death experience.

Nothing significant. Nothing ever happened in your whole entire fucking boring life.

So shut up, flip on the news and cook me some food.


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