Rape. What you can and cannot talk about… Plus a bit about Eskimos.

A lot of people in this country want to tell you what you can and cannot talk about. Sometimes they will you can talk about something but you can not joke about it, like Manny Pacquiao’s latest loss to  Juan Manuel Marquez, catastrophes or crimes like rape.

They’ll say “Rape is not funny!”, I say “Fuck you, I think it’s hilarious. How you like that?”. I can prove rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Daisy Duck. See? Hey, why do you think they call him “porky”? I know what men are going to say. “Daisy was asking for it! She was coming on to Porky. She had tight feathers on. Porky got horny and he lost control!”.

A lot of men talk like that. They blame it on the woman, you know. They will always say “She had it coming! She was wearing a short skit.”. Does not seem fair to me. Does not seem right. But I believe you can joke about it!

I believe you can joke about anything. Just depends on how you construct a joke and what the exaggeration is. Every joke needs one exaggeration. Every joke needs one thing way out of proportion.

For example, have you ever seen a news story like this: “Some burglar broke into a house, stole some things and while he is in there, he raped an 81 year old woman.” and you think to yourself: “WHY?! What the fuck kind of social life this guy have? I wanna ask him why did he do that!” but I know what I will hear:

“Hey! She was coming on to me! She had a tight bathrobe on!” and I’m thinking…

“Next time, be a little more selective, will ya?”

Now, speaking of rape, but changing the topic slightly .. You know what I wonder? I wonder if there is more rape around the Northern Hemisphere or near the Equator. Per capita. I know the populations are different. I think it’s the Northern Hemisphere. Most people will think it’s the Equator because it is hot down here and people don’t wear a lot of clothing, guys can see women’s tits and they get horny and there’s a lot of raping and fucking in general.

But that’s exactly there’s less rape near the Equator. Because there is a lot of fucking in general! You can tell the countries and territories near the Equator has a lot of fucking. Look at the population figures! Billions of people live near the equator!

Near the North Pole, how many Eskimos we got? No one is getting laid there! It’s too cold!

An Eskimo says to his wife “Hey honey, how about some pussy?”, she says “Wally, are you crazy? It’s 150 below!”. Eskimo guys are deprived, they’re horny and every now and then, they got to rape somebody.

Now, the biggest problem an Eskimo rapist has is trying to get wet leather leggings off a woman who doesn’t want to take them off. Have you ever tried to pull leather off someone who is trying to kick you in your nuts? Takes a lot of effort, and in the process you’d lose your hard-on. In fact, at the North Pole, your dick will shrivel up like a stack of dimes. That’s another thing I wonder…

Does a rapist have a hard-on when he leaves the house in the morning? Or does it develop during the day while he is walking around and checking out a girl?

Just wondering.


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