Do you have a friend who starts a conversation that you don’t wanna have?
“Hey, what would you do if you have a time machine?”
You know what I said to him?
“O fuck you. You know what? I don’t wanna use it. I will just let it sit in my house, maybe place a food or a drink on it or something, or use it to go back 30 minutes ago and punch you in the face before you start asking me that. That’s all.”
So he goes “Here’s what I’m going to do…”,and I said,
“Of course that’s point of asking me! To stare at me while I say mine and then say yours!”
He said that if he had a time machine, he’d kill Hitler. I love the thought that he could kill Hitler just because he’s back there and walk up and kill the die. I was thinking that it’s a noble purpose for a time machine. I would do it, but I would not kill him. I would have raped him. That’s what I thought because I think that would have been enough. It’ll stop him from doing all the shit he does. If he had been raped by me he would never have pulled any of the stuffs he did, man. Instead of invading Poland, he’ll just say,
“Nah. I’ll just take a shower. I don’t feel good.”
I like some kids. You can’t like all kids because some… No, most of the kids are shitty. It’s true. Some people do not want to ever admit that. They just go and say “Every child is like a star in the shining sea!”.
No. Most kids suck, man! Most kids are just flat-out shitty! It’s true and you see them all the time. Like when you fall in line in a grocery store and you see a kid and you formulate this thought:
“Fuck that kid, man. That kid looks and acts like a fucking jerk. I hate that kid! Shitty little kid!”
A while ago I saw a kid like that when I was actually falling in line inside a grocery store a while ago. I looked at this kid who is a with her mother that’s two people ahead of me in the line. He’s staring at me and I thought,
“I fucking hate this kid.”
I’m waiting in line! What am I going to do except to fall in line and wait? That’s what you do when you’re waiting in line, isn’t it? You pick someone to hate while you are waiting.
So I picked this kid because he was shitty and he’s staring at me and he keeps saying “Nyeeeh! Nyeeeh!” so I assume that he’s a real shitty kid. I’m looking at him and he’s looking at me. The worst thing is that this is a true story. He’s like six years old or something and he’s looking at me, and nobody else was looking so I gave him this:
I just flipped him off. Just real quick! A little thing between me and him and he could not believe it! He was like
He was blown away because nobody does that. Nobody gives the finger to the kid for no reason. I think I helped him out a little there, you know. Yeah. That happens. Deal with it.
Fuck you, buddy! 🙂
I don’t know… I started to kinda like to hate people. It’s not that I have anything against them. It’s just that I enjoy it like it’s some kind of recreation.
Like when you’re at a bank and you have got nothing to do while you’re waiting in line so you just pick people to hate while you are waiting. You just look at someone and form an opinion or assume something that’s not positive. Who fucking wastes his or her time thinking “I bet he’s a hard worker”? Who thinks about that shit? Skip over that thought!
Then you see his shoes. “O look at his shoes! What a fucking asshole! Look at that piece of shit. I hope he dies today.”, then you watch all the other shit and say “Yeah. Fill it out you fuckface. Yeah! You filled it out! I knew it! You suck!”. They’re just standing and sitting there and they’ve got no idea that you’re boiling with hate right now.
But I feel that people do hate me sometimes. Like this one time when I was at the post office and there’s a long line with just one window open so everyone’s like “Argh!”. Everyone’s just mad. When you’re in the line you are in the hate group. You get to look at each other and all of you are groaning and moaning. It’s like a silent movie of impatient people.
Then it’s your turn at the window and everyone is looking at you and you feel the scrutiny of how fast you are mailing your shit. You start feeling how unimportant your package is and you feel like they can tell and you begin to think that they’re saying “Yeah fuck it out. You don’t need to mail that right now!” and you begin to have an awkward feeling.
If you do one extra thing like “Do you have a stamp that looks like blah, blah, blah, blah?”, the people behind you go “Ah shit”, “Jesus”, “Fucking slow” and all that shit. They put their shit down heavily and go “Fuck no! That motherfucker’s going to make me stand here all day while he buys posting stamps at the post office?! Are you shitting me?!”.