Unfathomable Stupidity IV


I remember the first time when I talked to a girl at a bar. I talked to her because she’s attractive. The first thing I said was dog shit. I don’t know her plus I became nervous and confident at the same time! The first honest thing that I said to her was I wanna fuck her face. Anything else that I was going to say was me trying real hard not to say “I wanna fuck your face” again. I apologized for what I have said but after that I accidentally said another dog shit!

“I wanna… Put my… Penis… In… The lowest hole… On your head.”

Of course I was never good at that. It was my first time. It’s as if I was very bad at being single. After that experience, as expected, I felt really, really, really, stupid.

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Unfathomable Stupidity III


Stupid. Nope, hyper stupid! I wish all my thoughts would only be like


But here’s how my brain works:

It is stupidity followed by self-hatred and then further analysis. It’s not a very efficient system of thoughts. I go “Duuuuuh…”, followed by “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” and then I figure it out.

But the impulse is always stupid.

I saw a guy here in our subdivision days ago walking his dog. This is what I saw: The has got a coffee and a dog on a leash and a phone. He’s on the phone. So he’s got his phone and it’s on his ear and the dog’s leash is going from the phone hand to the dog. I look at this and I thought to myself

“O he’s got a dogphone!”

And that thought sincerely inhabited me for like a full minute! I was like

“O what are the benefits of that?”, then the other part of me exclaimed

“Why the fuck would that exist?! You asshole!”.

Unfathomable Stupidity II


People are fucking dumb.

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You can say what you want in this country and I love this place and I love the freedoms that we used to have. I love it. I love it when it takes us a fucking catastrophe to gets us to take care for one another (*Cough* Sarcasm). I love the fact that we’re now on camera all the time.

—–

We got some dumb ass motherfuckers floating around in this country. Obviously it doesn’t include you, the reader. You seem perceptive and intelligent enough to venture into my blog but the rest of the Philippines?  MOTHER OF ALL BLAZING SHITBALLS!

Dumber than a second coat of paint!

This isn’t just ranting and raving. The Philippines looks good back then. It was pristine! Paradise. Have you seen it lately? Have you taken a good look at it lately? It’s FUCKING EMBARRASSING. Only a nation of unenlightened half-wits could have taken this beautiful place and turn it into what it is today: A SHOPPING MALL. A big fucking shopping mall.

That’s all you got in this place. Miles and miles of malls. Major malls and mini malls. They put the mini malls in-between the major malls, and in-between mini malls they put mini marts, and in-between the mini marts you got the car lodges, gas stations, muffler shops, laundromats, cheap hotels, fast food joints, strip clubs, and dirty bookstores.

How do the people feel about all of these? Well people think it’s

JUST FUCKING DANDY!!!

They think it’s as cool as can be because Filipinos love malls. They love the malls because that’s where they get to satisfy their two most prominent addictions AT THE SAME TIME: Shopping and Eating. Millions of semi-conscious Filipinos, day after day, shuffling through the malls and they’re shopping and eating.

—–

Speaking of eating, I noticed that the number of fat people in this country is skyrocketing. You ever noticed that? Big, fat motherfuckers are now roaming in multitudes! Huge piles of redundant protoplasm stampeding inside the malls like a fleet of Field Trip buses.

Massive bellies, monstrous thighs, and BIG FAT FUCKING ASSES! 

If you stand and look at one of them, you’ll begin to wonder how does this woman (Let’s say it’s a “she”) take a shit.

How does she shit?

Even more frightening, how does she wipe her ass?

Can she even locate her asshole?

She must require assistance! Are paramedics trained in this field?

Standing right next to her, of course, is her clueless husband who is also fat with his monstrous over sized beer belly hanging over his belt buckle. This guy ain’t seen his penis since the regime of Ferdinand Marcos.

If you stand and look at them you begin to wonder to yourself…

Do these people fuck?

Is this man actually capable of fucking this woman? 

It doesn’t seem to be possible, structurally, that this couple could achieve penetration.

—–

Good thing I rarely go out of the house during Summer. Even better, Summer is over. If I see one of them in short shorts I’ll probably go Catholic and say “Jesus, Lord, Protector of all that is Good and Holy, deliver me from fat people in short shorts. They all got short pants, big bellies, fat thighs and dumb kids, Jesus!”.

These people are efficient, professional, compulsive consumers. They think of that as their national pride. It’s their civic duty. Consumption. It’s their new national pastime! Fuck Basketball, it’s consumption!

The only, true, lasting Filipino value that’s left is BUYING THINGS! People spending money they don’t have on things they don’t need.

If you isolated one of them, sit them down and talk to them about these issues about the low IQ’s and the dumb behavior and the bad decisions, right away they’ll start talking about education. That’s the big answer to everything. Education.

Politicians know that word and they used it on you all the time. Politicians are usually hidden in three things: The Philippine Flag, The Bible and the children.

FUCK THAT!

IN THIS COUNTRY, ALL OF THE STUPIDS ARE AN EXTENDED FAMILY.

 

Unfathomable Stupidity


Have you read some of my blog articles?

Yeah. Most people don’t like you to talk about those things, I know that. Some people don’t like you to mention certain things. Some people don’t want you to say this, some people don’t want you to say that, some people think that if you mention some things they might happen.

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Some people are really fucking STUPID.

Did you notice that? How many stupid people do you run into during the day? Shit there’s a lot of fucking stupid people walking around. Carry a paper and a pen or pencil with you’ll wind up with thirty or forty names at the end of the day.

Look at it this way: Think of how stupid the average person is and then realize half of them are stupider than that. It won’t take you very long to spot one, does it? Takes you about eight or nine seconds.

You’ll be listening to someone and you’ll say “This guy is motherfucking STUPID!”.

Then there are some people who aren’t stupid because they’re FULL OF SHIT. That also doesn’t take very long to spot one, does it? It’ll take you about the same amount of time.

You’ll be listening to someone and you’ll say “Well, he’s fairly intelligent. Wait… HE’S FULL OF SHIT!”

Then there are some people who are not stupid & who are not full of shit. They’re FUCKING NUTS!

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE ALL THREE! STUPID, FULL OF SHIT, AND FUCKING NUTS!