Time


You know what bothers me? People who want to know the time. The one who come up and say to me “What time is it?”. As if I am personally responsible for keeping track of such things.

Sometimes they’ll phrase it a little differently. They’ll say “Do you have the time?”. I say

(Translated into English) “No, I don’t believe I do. I did not have it this morning when I left the house. Could you have possibly left it somewhere? You know now that you’ve mentioned it, I believe the Americans have it. Their Navy. They keep it in their observatories. They let just a little of it out each day. Not too much of course. Just enough. They wouldn’t give us too much time. We might not use it wisely.”

Sometimes, in a playful mood, when asked if I have the time I’ll say “Yes!” and just simply walk away.

I do that because I hate to disappoint people. You see there is no time. There’s just no time. I don’t mean “We’re late! There’s no time!”, I mean

There is NO time.

After all, when is it? Do you know? No one really knows when it is. We made the whole thing up! It’s a human invention. There are no numbers in the sky. Believe me, I’ve looked.

We made the whole thing up.

So when are we? Sometimes we think we know “where” we are but we really don’t know when we are. For all we know it could be the middle of last week! The time zones are of no help. They’re all different. In India, the time zones actually operate on the half-hour instead of the hour! What is that all about?

Does anyone really know what time it is?

The major calendars (Chinese, Moslem, Hebrew, Julian/Gregorian) disagree by thousands of years! No telling what the Mayans and the Aztecs would say if they were still around. I guess their time ran out. These are calendars we’re talking about. Instruments specifically designed to keep track of time and they’re all different! They’re not just off by a couple of weeks, it is thousand of years we’re talking about here! How did that happen?

Our current calendar is such an amateur show. Every four years we have to cram in an extra day just to make the whole thing work! We call it “February 29th”. Personally I really do not believe in that. Deep down I really know it is March 1st. I mean it just feels like March 1st, doesn’t it? But even that simple quadrennial adjustment doesn’t fix things so every hundred years we suspend that rule and dispense with the extra day! Unless, of course, the year is divisible by 400 in which we suspend the suspension and add the extra day.

Here’s how we got to this sorry date. The Julian Calendar was introduced in 46 BC, the Roman year 709, but it was off by 11 minutes a year so by 1582 there was an accumulated error of 10 days. Accordingly that year, Pope Gregory XIII decided that the day following October 4th would be called October 15th. They just skipped 10 days and threw them out of the window! Officially in 1582 no one was born in France, Spain, Italy or Portugal during the period of October 5th to October 14th. Weird.

Even weirder, the Gregorian wasn’t adopted until 1752 when they dropped 11 days out of September! That was the same year that the New Year was moved from March 25th to January 1st.

You thought that big millennium party you went to was right on time, huh? We try hard to keep track of time but it’s futile. You can’t pin it down! For example, there’s a moment coming. It isn’t here yet, it’s still in the future. It’s on the way. It hasn’t arrived. It’s getting closer! Here it is! Shit it’s gone.

We use words like “now” but it is a useless word because everytime you say it, it means something different. “Can you tell me the time?”. Which time did you want, now or the time you asked me? Or how about now? Is this the time you want? Speak up! This stuff isn’t standing still.

Think of the phrase “just now”.

“Did you hear that?”

“What?”

“Just now?”

“You mean ‘just then’?”

“Yes. Just then. Wait, there it is again!”

“When?”

“Just now!”

Everything we think of as “now” is either the very recent past or the very near future. There’s no present!

“Welcome to the present!” *seconds later* “Aw it’s gone again.”

It’s also imprecise that people don’t bother with minutes and hours at all. They keep things purposely vague.

“What time you got?”

“Just after.”

It’s amazing how something precisely calibrated as time  can be described so loosely, especially where short periods of time are concerned. We say “at once”, “immediately”, “right away”, “just like that”, “no time at all”, “nothing flat”, “at a moment’s notice”, “a jiffy”, “a flash” often. Do you know which is quicker? A jiffy or a flash? Or maybe “a twinkling of an eye”?

Another vague word is “soon”. For me, soon has an emotional quality. It has great potential for sadness.

“Is daddy going to ever visit us again?”

“Yes, dear.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

Here’s a spooky one: “Sooner than you think”. Wow. Sooner than I think! That’s like “before you know it”.

“I’ll be back before you know it!”

“Holy shit he did it!”

“Sooner or later”, “one of these days”, “any day now”, “from time to time”, “every now and then”, “a little way”. A little while is nice. So gentle. “I’ll be home in a little while!”. That would not bother you, would it? I think anyone could wait a little while. It does not sound too threatening.

“Your father is sick but he still has a little while”. That’s different from “a short time”, isn’t it? A short time sounds terminal. “Your father has only a short time”. If I were about to be executed I’d much rather have a little while than a short time.

Do you have a favorite period of time? It isn’t easy to select a favorite period of time. There are so many appealing ones. I have a few. To me the most useful period of time is “five minutes”. That seems to be the one most people choose when they are pressed. “I’ll be there in five minutes!”, “Give me five minutes will you?”. That’s all most people want. Five minutes. A good, solid and respectable period of time and it goes by fast.

Well, “Fifteen minutes” is a popular period of time but it has an institutional ring to it or a regulatory quality. Sounds like it is associated with something either compulsory or forbidden. “The exchange window will only be open for fifteen minutes!”, “You have fifteen minutes to fill out the forms!”, “In fifteen minutes we will be coming around”.

I like “twenty minutes” better. Twenty minutes sound kinda free and sporty. “I’ll be back to pick up those test papers in fifteen minutes! Then you’ll have a twenty-minute break”, “Hey guys! Cover me with the boss will you? I’ll be back in twenty minutes!”

Twenty minutes. Just enough time to get laid. Have a good time!

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The local water


“Is the local water good?”

I haven’t got a positive answer to that yet. Not one. From last year to this day I went to a fucking lot of cities across Luzon and not one of the local people ever said that their local water is good.

Nobody trusts the local water supply anymore.

That means the system is beginning to collapse and everything is slowly breaking down.

Children


Children.

It’s all you hear in this country. “Help the children!”, “What about the children?”, “Save the children!”. You know what I say?

Screw the children!

They’re getting too much attention. Yes, I am going to attack them. I know that all you single dads and sucker moms who think you’re such heroes aren’t going to like this but somebody’s going to tell you for your own good. Your children are overrated and overvalued. You’ve turned them into cult objects! You have child fetish and it’s not healthy.

Don’t give that weak “Well I love my children” shit. Screw you. Everybody loves their children, it doesn’t make you special.

You know what’s completely out of balance? This constant, mindless, yapping in media. This neurotic, fixation that somehow everything has to be revolved around children. There are a couple of things about children that you have to remember: 1.) They’re not all cute. In fact if  you look at them up close you’ll notice that some of them are rather unpleasant looking. A lot of them don’t smell too good, either. The little ones, in particular, seem to have a urine and sour milk combination or something like that. 2.) Not all children are smart and clever. Kids are like any other group of people, a few winners and a whole lot of losers. There are a lot of loser kids out there who simply aren’t going anywhere. You can’t save ’em all, you got to let them go, you got to cut them loose and stop overprotecting them because you’re making them way too soft.

For one thing, there’s too much emphasis on safety. Child-proof medicine bottles, fire-proof pajamas, child restraints in the car seats and helmets. Kids have to wear helmets and safety gears now for everything but jerking off! Grown-ups have taken all the fun being a kid just to save a few thousand lives. It’s pathetic! What’s happening is that these soft baby boomers are raising a generation of soft, fruity kids who aren’t allowed to have hazardous toys for fuck’s sake.

Hazardous toy shit. Whatever happened to natural selection and survival of the fittest? The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn’t grow up to have kids of his own. Simple as that. Nature knows best. We’re saving entirely too many lives of all ages in this country. Nature should be allowed to do its job of killing off the weak and sickly and ignorant people without human interference! Just think of it as passive eugenics.

Back in my day we we’re tough. If kids can handle the violence at home they ought to be able to handle the violence at school. I’m not worried about guns in school, I’m more worried about guns in church. Well… That’s going to be a lot of fun. It’ll happen, you watch. Some numbnuts will go apeshit inside  the church and they’ll refer to him as a ‘disgruntled worshiper’.

Here’s another bunch of ignorant shit: School uniforms. I’ve always thought that this is a bad theory, which is the idea that if kids wear uniforms in school it helps keep order. Don’t these schools do enough damage by making all these kids think alike? They’ve made these kids look the same too! My idea isn’t new. It’s been on old newsreels from the 1930s.

One more item about children: This superstitious nonsense that blames tobacco companies for kids who smoke. They smoke for the same reasons as adults. It relieves anxiety and depression. You’d be anxious and depressed too if you have to put up with these pathetic, insecure, striving, banal yuppie parents who enroll you in college before you’re old enough to know which side of playpen smells the worst and then they fill you full of riddle and then drag you all over the town in search of meaningless structure. Sports fests for kids, cub scouts, Karate, piano, witchcraft, glass blowing and dildo practice. No wonder kids smoke. It helps. Not as much as weed, but hey it helps.

Want to know how you can help your children? Leave them the fuck alone!

Tomorrow’s never gonna get any better


So is Education.

Because the owners of this country do not want that.

I’m talking about the real owners. THE REAL OWNERS. The big, wealthy business interests that control things & make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians. Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have Freedom of Choice.

YOU DON’T. You have no choice.

You have owners. They own YOU. They own everything. They own all the important lands. They own & control all the corporations. They have long since bought & paid the Senate, the Congress, the City Halls & they got the judges in their back pockets and they own the big media companies so they control just about all of the news & information you get to read or hear.

They got you by the balls.

They spend billions of Philippine Peso of every year lobbying to get what they want. Well we know what they want:

THEY WANT MORE FOR THEMSELVES AND LESS FOR EVERYBODY ELSE.

I’ll tell you what they don’t want:

THEY DO NOT WANT WELL-INFORMED, WELL-EDUCATED PEOPLE CAPABLE OF CRITICAL THINKING.

That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interest. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table figuring out how badly they’re being fucked by a system that threw them overboard more than 20 years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want?

They want obedient workers. People who are just smart enough to run the machines & do the paperwork & just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime & the vanishing pensions that disappear the minute you go & collect it AND NOW they’re coming for your social security money. They want your fuckin’ retirement money. They want it BACK so they could give it back to all their criminal friends and they’ll get it all from you sooner or later BECAUSE THEY OWN THIS FUCKIN’ PLACE.

It’s a big club… And you ain’t in it. You & I are not in the big club.

By the way, it’s the same big club that used to beat you over the head all day long telling you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think & what to buy.

The table is tilted, the game is rigged & nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Good, honest, hardworking, white collar, blue collar people continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about them.  They don’t give a fuck about you, they don’t care about you AT ALL.

Still, nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Filipinos will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big Red, Blue, Yellow & White dick that’s being jammed up their assholes everyday.

Save our Planet!


NOT!

You got people like this around you, and the country’s full of ’em now: People who are walking around all day long, every minute of the day worrying about everything! Worried about the air, worried about the water, worried about the soil, worried about insecticides/pesticides, food additives, carcinogens, worried about rate on gas, worried about asbestos, WORRIED ABOUT SAVING ENDANGERED SPECIES.

Let me put this into your mind:

Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control nature. It’s arrogant meddling. It’s what got us into trouble in the first place! Doesn’t anybody understand that‽ Interferring with nature!

Over 90% — way over 90% — of all the species that have ever lived on this planet are gone. They’re extinct.

“We didn’t kill ’em all.”

Yeah right, fucktard. They just disappeared. That’s what nature does. They disappear at a rate of more or less twenty-five a day, and I mean regardless of our behavior. Irrespective of how we act on this planet, more or less twenty-five species who are here today will be gone tomorrow. Let them go gracefully. Leave nature alone.

Haven’t we done enough‽

We’re so self-important, so self-important that everybody’s gonna save something. Save the Bees! Save the Trees! Save the Whales! SAVE THE SNAILS, and the greatest arrogance of all,

SAVE THE PLANET

WHAT‽ Save the planet‽ WE DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES YET! We haven’t yet learned to care for one another & we’re gonna save the fuckin’ planet‽

Aren’t you getting tired of that shit‽

I’m tired of fuckin’ Earth Day, I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists. People are trying to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet, they don’t care about the planet, not in the abstract they don’t.

You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that someday in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest will not impress me. Besides, there’s no thing wrong with the Planet. Nothing’s wrong with the Planet!

THE PLANET IS FINE. THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKED.

Compared to the people, the planet is doing great! The Earth’s been here for 4.5 Billion years, and we’ve been here for what, 100,000-200,000 years and we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over 200 to 300 years! 200 To 300 years versus 4.5 Billion, and we have the conceit to think that somehow, someway we’re a threat, that’s somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this Blue-Green that’s just aflot ’round the Sun‽

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. It’s been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flare, sunspots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles, hundreds and thousands of years of bombardment by coments and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosions, cosmic rays, recurring Ice Ages, AND WE THINK THAT SOME PLASTIC BAGS & SOME ALUMINUM CANS ARE GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE‽

The Planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE! We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks because we’re the ones who should go away and we wouldn’t leave much of a trace either, maybe a little Styrofoam, maybe. The Planet will be here & we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation, just another biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The Planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the Planet’s doing? Ask those people at Pompeii who are frozen into position from volcanic ash ‘How the Planet’s doing?’.

Wanna know if the Planet’s alright ask those people in Mexico City, or Armenia or a hundred other places who were burried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble if they feel like they’re a thread to the Planet this week.

How about those people in Kilauea, Hawaii who built their homes next to an active volcano AND FUCKIN’ WONDER WHY THERE’S LAVA IN THE LIVING ROOM. The Planet will be here for a long time after we’re gone and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself because that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the Earth will be renewed and if it’s true that plastic isn’t degradable, well the Planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm, which is

“The Earth plus Plastic”

The Earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the Earth. The Earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. It could be the only reason why the Earth wanted us to be spawned in the first place: It wanted plastic for itself. LOL. The Earth didn’t know how to make plastic so it needed us. It could be the answer to our age-old philosophical question “Why are we here‽”.

Plastic. Assholes.

So the plastic is here, our job is done & we can be phased out now & I think that has started already, don’t you? I mean, to be fair, the Planet probably sees us as a mild threat, something to be dealt with & I’m sure the Planet will defend itself in the manner of a bunch or large organisms or viruses.

Well, people are vulnerable to viruses and viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps this virus could be one that compromises the Immune System of these creatures, perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus making them vulnerable to all sorts of diseases and infections that might come along, and might it could be spread sexually making them more reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Haha. Well that’s a poetic note, and it’s a start.

I can dream, can I? 🙂