I’m a Modern Man


I’m a modern man from the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified, multicultural, post-modern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and digitally incorrect

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I’ve been up late and downloaded, inputted and outsourced, and all the update and downsizing and the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech lowlife, a cutting-edge, state of the art, bi-coastal multitasker. I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

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I’m new wave but I’m old school, my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted, cool customer, I’m voice activated and biodegradable.

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I interface from a database and my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, right in the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope.

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I’m on point, on task, on message and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed and I got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, down the edge, over the top but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range, ballistic missionary.

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A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, and run victory laps. I’m a totally on-going big foot, slam-dunk rainmaker, with a proactive outreach.

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A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless.

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I’m an alpha male on beta blockers. I’m a non-believer in an overachiever, laid back but fashion forward, up front, down home and high maintenance. Super sized, long lasting, high-definition, fast acting, oven ready and built to last.

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I’m a hands on, footloose, knee jerk, head case. Prematurely post-traumatic and I love child who sends me hate mails but I’m feeling, I’m caring, a supportive bonding, nurturing caregiver.

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My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on a long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.

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I’m gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F word in my blog articles and my software in my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn.

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I bought a microwave in a mini-mall, a mini van in a mega mall. I eat fast food on the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite-sized, ready to wear and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically tested and formulated medical miracle.

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I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post dated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

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I’m a rude dude but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean, cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow and I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Driving and moving, selling and spending, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning.

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I don’t snooze so I don’t ruse. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunch time. I’m hanging in, there’s no doubt and I’m hanging out

Over and out.